How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:7 (ESV)
When Love Feels Close But Never Secure
A friend of mine once told me she thought she had finally found a place to breathe. The relationship felt steady and safe at first. She let herself hope. She imagined peace would follow love if she held on tightly enough. But over time, small misunderstandings piled up. Conversations thinned. The warmth she once felt began slipping quietly through her fingers.
One afternoon, she sat alone in a cafe, heart racing without a clear reason. She was not just hurt. She felt hollow. What unsettled her most was realizing how much she had been depending on that relationship to fill her soul. Without meaning to, she had begun chasing emptiness, asking something fragile to carry what it was never meant to hold. She thought, “I need to stop chasing love.”
So many of us try to secure love by managing outcomes, smoothing conversations, or shrinking ourselves to keep the connection intact. We chase reassurance, agreement, or affection, believing they will keep our hearts from breaking. But human love, as meaningful as it is, was never meant to be ultimate. When we ask human love to carry what only God can hold, something inside us begins to ache. That ache often reveals where we placed our refuge.
The Steadfast Love That Does Not Shift
Psalm 36 points us to a different kind of love. God’s steadfast love does not fluctuate or withdraw. It does not depend on consistency, performance, or being understood. It simply remains. The image of refuge under His wings is not sentimental language. It is a promise of protection, nearness, and permanence.
This is where theology meets real life. The gospel tells us that God did not wait for us to become whole before drawing near to us. Jesus entered our brokenness fully, carrying what we could not repair ourselves. His love does not weaken when relationships disappoint us or when our trust has been misplaced. It stays.
Fullness does not come with life’s stability, but when we stop seeking people to complete us. God’s love steadies human love and becomes our foundation when all else is uncertain.
When the Ache Exposes What We Are Chasing
Sometimes the hardest work is staying in the ache long enough to notice what it is pointing toward. Disappointment exposes where we named something hope, but were really reaching for what could not hold us. We look for security in being chosen, peace in control, and worth in being needed.
God does not shame us for this; the ache becomes a doorway, not a dead end. When we stop bracing for loss and start receiving what cannot be taken, we discover fullness that doesn't depend on being affirmed or understood.
Paul reminds us in Romans 8:38–39 that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Not rejection, grief, or failure. Not even our own misplaced attachments. This love does not rush the ache. It stays and steadies what we could never hold together ourselves.
When We Stop Chasing Love
When we stop chasing love, striving for what cannot satisfy, we begin to recognize fullness in quieter ways. A moment of calm. A breath that does not hurry. The realization that we are held even when answers do not come. God’s love reshapes how we respond to disappointment, how we wait, and how we remain open without losing ourselves.
Brokenness does not bar us from love. It becomes the very place God fills. He does not bypass our pain or rush our healing. He meets us there, steady and near, teaching our restless hearts how to rest.
Practical ways to practice resting in God’s love:
Begin each morning by naming one truth about God’s steadfast love, even if your emotions resist it.
Pay attention to small moments of grace throughout the day and let them remind you that you are already held.
When disappointment surfaces, resist the urge to numb or fix it. Bring it honestly to God instead.
End the day by reflecting on one moment where you sensed His presence, however faint.
Ask yourself gently, without shame, where you may be chasing emptiness instead of receiving what God is offering.
As we learn to rest, our striving loosens. Our responses soften. We begin living from fullness rather than reaching for it.
Prayer: Lord, when love feels uncertain, and my heart grows restless, teach me how to rest in You. Help me recognize where I have been chasing what cannot satisfy and gently lead me back to Your steadfast love. Stay with me in the ache. Steady what feels fragile. Fill the places I have tried to hold together on my own. Let me learn that Your love does not walk away. In Jesus' name, amen.
If this reflection resonates, these themes are explored more fully in my book, Chasing Emptiness, Finding Fullness, releasing February 3, where we walk through what it means to stop chasing what empties us and start living from the fullness God provides.
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